This past weekend I learned that a couple of my friends ended their marriage. Divorce. Done deal. It’s all over. Kaput.
I’m still saddened and in shock because I honestly thought that their union was synonymous to what a happy couple was all about. They seemed to compliment each other so well, but they weren’t so joined at the hip that they weren’t individuals as well.
So what could have possibly happened? Instead of dwelling on what led to divorce, I, instead, am compelled to wonder what could have kept it together. According to Couple Power, a program masterminded by Peter L. Sheras, PhD and Phyllis R. Koch-Sheras, Ph.D, there are 4 keys to being a happy couple – Commitment, Cooperation, Communication and Community.
The article is here and it’s worth a read.
It is essential for the individual to get past their own self-interest to cooperate with their partner, this allows them each to find a way to be satisfied without feeling deprived of their own needs. What might at first look like incompatibility is actually diversity and versatility.
I divorced over ten years ago where incompatibility and maturity, or lack thereof, contributed largely to my marriage’s decline. Since I long for a more permanent relationship in the future, I glean all that I can from the successes and failures of others so that I can be party to a happy couple someday too.