have you seen this man?

Me neither.

The man pictured is my father who is still living though he probably doesn’t look like this anymore. He’s holding my older sister, who was about 3 or 4 at the time, and standing next to him is my mother, who is likely pregnant with me. I’ve never wished him Happy Father’s Day and rightfully so. He never showed up for the role.

Published by kenn

author. developer. illustrator. Renaissance man.

8 thoughts on “have you seen this man?”

  1. Katina says:


  2. Katina says:

    Welp! I have to say…it takes guts to do what you just did Bivins. Some dads need to be put on blast. I see so many examples of men playing a passive role in parenting, or they’re absent (as you mentioned in the caption above) from the role. That can’t go unchecked, but it does. Then there are great fathers who are active in their roles despite any challenges they may face in keeping their position, and guess what? That goes unchecked too. Dudes get rubbed out of the parenting role one way or another… As Father’s Day approaches, all I can say is, hats off to the fathers, dads and daddies out there, and a big fat wag of the finger and “tisk!, tisk!” to the men who carry on with life, leaving the welfare of their offspring to other caring folk.

    1. kenn says:

      I wasn’t trying to put my father on blast. I’ve said to him personally all that I wanted him to know. His absence is simply a matter of fact and history. I only share it as an encouragement to others that they don’t have to feel hopeless, broken or unwanted because their father opted out.

  3. KCB says:

    I’ve always found it strange that the most common parent/child relationships include such labels as “Momma’s Boy” and “Daddy’s Girl”, and while I am sure those are in deed special/meaningful relationships to have, nothing seems more important to me than the loving support and guidance from a father to his son or a mother to her daughter. I always feel that there is the added role of having a child the same sex as you…you go beyond that of a parent (provider/protector) and you take on the role of a leader/teacher.

    Ideally, a son should have the opportunity to learn how to be a man from his father and a woman should be able to learn how to be a woman from her mother. The journey to becoming a (good) man or woman is difficult enough but it’s made that much harder without someone there to guide and teach you. There are a lot of men who have never had the chance to meet their father or had to endure the journey into manhood without the support of a loving father-figure. For most of these men, they fall victim to repeating the same type of behavior to their children, or they live in a bitter resentment that affects everyone that loves them. You, Kenn Bivins, have not only become a fantastic, loving, and supportive father, you have also become a wonderfully open, talented and caring individual. You defined your own meaning of manhood and that is nothing short of inspirational.

    1. kenn says:

      Wow. You said it all, K. I really have nothing to follow that up with other than echo and thank you.

  4. kenn says:

    It saddens me that fathers are given a pass if they opt out of their son’s OR daughter’s lives.

    1. suraya says:

      But isn’t that how society trained us all to think? If a woman neglects her responsibilities as a mother she is seen as the worst person that ever existed… I mean how can a woman abandon her offspring? If a man does it…. oh well he wasn’t ready the woman can take care of her child etc etc….

      1. kenn says:

        I don’t subscribe to that thought although, yes, some do.

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